This part of the site is designed to let you read about other young people's experiences of living in the Looked After System
Everybody is different and everybody has different backgrounds and "stories" - but sometimes the way that we feel and some of the things that happen to us are the same. It can sometimes be helpful to know that we are not alone. It can also be helpful to see how other people dealt with things differently.
These experiences are all "true" and have been posted by young people who are looked after in South Tyneside.
Please read them and if you would like to leave a comment or send your own experience then please
Click Here for more details.
" I was put in foster care at a young age and was separated from my brother and sisters. We still got to see each other but it wasn't the same as being able to see them everyday. I missed my mum as well and I couldn't understand why we had been taken away from her.
As time went by I became more and more resentful towards the social workers and the Social workers and the people that I figured out in the end were only trying to help. My life was by no means easy at this time. I was bullied at school where I was never very good in the lessons. I told one of my teachers and I don't know what happened but the bullying became less and less. This meant that I was able to concentrate more on my schoolwork and my grades improved.
My life became easier as I became older and was able to understand the situation in which I went into care more and more. My social worker have helped me sometimes, and even though most of the time you may feel that the social workers don't care, they really do so don't give up and keep trying. "
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" I think being in care is not what you would like as you do not know why you are there and you would not like it. "
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" I was taken away from my family when I was a baby by social services. I went straight into foster care, had no contact with my family, nothing but a few notes came through the letterbox on a Saturday.
At the age of about five I started to have supervised contact with my family. By the time I was 13 I had been moved into over ten foster placements, and was starting to hate social services for what they had put me through. So I decided to rebel against the system and started running away from my foster placements, this happened for about three months until I got caught away from home and taken to the police station locked in an interview room for five hours. Then the door opened and my social worker walked through only to tell me I was going to get locked up didn't explain anything else and then she left. I had to wait another hour for the police to arrive and take me to a secure unit. It took eight hours to get there. When I got there I cried because it was like jail with big spikes on the top of the fences and big steel doors that only the police had a key for. We had to eat with plastic knives and forks and every day we had to sit in a class for seven lessons until we were allowed an hours break outside. I wasn't even allowed to wear my own clothes or have a razor to shave my legs, nor was I allowed to watch television. I was allowed out after a month because of my good behaviour and I am currently in a residential unit.
I hope to get a flat of my own soon. So if anybody reading this is thinking about running away from foster homes, residential units then think twice about your actions because I promise you that you will NOT like the outcome. "
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I was separated from my mum at the age of 3, and it was a bad
experience. A glass table was broke on my 3rd birthday, I was
3 and somehow – I don’t know how – but the glass
cut my toe, my 2nd toe on the right. The police came I think,
later. Of course the social workers couldn't keep their noses
out. What are they meant to do? I’ve had my fair share of
social workers – I’ve had 12 or more and I still don’t
like any of them.
But I was out, no mam, no-one. You’re probably thinking where’s your dad? He left me or she left him. Luckily my Gran and Grandad took me in. And here I am aged 10. Seven years I’ve been here and if you gave me a wish 1 year ago – I would have said, “let me see my own dad” but after my holiday he got married. I didn’t really expect him to not get married, and my dad’s parents have been written to but “nothing”. I’ve gotten over it but truthfully it’ll never go away – “the bad experience” or my dream to see my dad.
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I got put in care at such a young age - I was only about 2 years old. I always thought my mam was dead when I was younger. But now I see her every 2 weeks.
Me and my brothers all got separated in different homes, they all got adoped but not me. I got moved all over, i have lived in more than 14 homes! My life has been hard knowing people know what I do and where I go.
I feel like I have no life until I meet my boyfriend.
I WORK REALY HARD FOR MY MONEY I get £89 pound a week.
All I want is to
get out of care and have my own life because I know it is time
that I left.
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Experience I have just left care after my 18th birthday and now
that I’m not looked after I have more freedom and am able
to do more things for myself without getting permission.
I became looked after when I was about 7 years old and I remember
that it was a very confusing time. In fact there were lot’s
of times when I was scared about what was happening and nobody
could tell me what was going on.
I have been in care that long that I think I have experienced
quite a lot about social services. In fact you could say that
I am an expert as I have been around longer than most social workers!
In this time I have had quite a lot of different social workers
– at least 7 or 8 but probably more. I got along with 1
or 2 but the rest I didn’t really get on with.
There was one social worker who was great, I really liked her,
but she had to move on and we didn’t get the chance to say
goodbye. Nobody even explained why she left and this made me angry
at the time because I thought I could trust her.
Every time I got a new social worker I had to tell them everything
about me again – and this was upsetting as it kept bringing
everything back. It was like they couldn’t even be bothered
to find out about me.
I must also have had more than 20 reviews in this time and I think
I have been to them all – even though sometimes I wondered
why I had bothered. I feel like I can’t get my point across
and this is really maddening. But even if I do then people don’t
seem to listen anyway.
People expect young people to listen to everything they say but
they don’t listen themselves.
The worst thing that people didn’t listen to me about was
when I wanted more contact with my family and this was really
hard because nobody said why I couldn’t see them they just
said no.
This made me feel that nobody cared and that they didn’t
want to make more work for themselves. It also made me feel like
an outcast from my family although I now know that this wasn’t
true.
I think that listening to young people is really important because
if you do what young people want it makes everyone’s life
easier. It means that we can respect you because we know that
you respect us.
The last thing I want to say is just listen to young people as
you might make it easier for yourself because things might not
go wrong.
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Experience All I can remember of when I was a baby is that everything
was all right with my mum and dad, until my mother got in with
the wrong crowd and then some bad things used to happen.
Then my mother left my dad and everything went wrong. Me and my
dad suffered the most because me and my mother moved around a
lot and I grew up without a dad. Different people used to baby
sit me, people who I didn’t know used to come in and hit
me and say to my mother that I was being naughty. So my mother
hit me and after that I went into care.
Firstly with some carers who I thought were very nasty people—they
used to treat me differently because I wasn’t the same as
their children. Then secondly I went somewhere else and I felt
that I really belonged there and no-one asked me about my past.
After about two years I went to my nana’s and grandads and
I have never looked back since. To this day my mother is still
bothering me and telling me to run away but I have more sense
and I want to get on with my life and I love the people that I
live with because they have loads of love for me.
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Experience i have been in care for 11 y i am only 12 most of my
carers have been nice but some of them have been horrible i dont
like being in care i dont like it because i never get to see my
my mam or my dad or any of my family
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My experience of being in foster care is that i learnt the hard
way and knew that i had to coupe because i was never going to
live with my mam or see her ever again. social servies can be
a pain as they try and help but what they do is they split up
familes by taking people away and putting them into foster care.
hope you all enjoy reading my experience!!
I think because i've read most of people problems, then that they
should be aloud a second chance to live with their real parents,
and if that dosn't work out then i suggest they should get took
away from their parents, but be aloud to see them on certain days.
like contact with each other.hope you all like to read this one.
also i agree with the lad that had said that he knows what social
workers are like and that is they are pain in the bums!!
My experience of being in foster-care is hard. But I get through
it well.sometimes I have problems with the outside people, because
where I live it is hard and rough.Plus sometimes on a night-time
it sometimes gets to me because I always think about my family
like most children would.sometimes it can be hard because that
person could have been through a lot at a that time.but that dosn't
mean you can't have no fun.I've been in foster-care for a 2years
nearly three years.but I start to get ue=sed to it as you get
on with other familys plus you make loads of friends also if your
lucky you can talk to your friends as well as your foster-carers.
hopoe you like to read it but don't take the micky!!
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My earliest memory that I can remeber was at chrsitmas with all
the family and opening pressies. This is when i was about 5. From
about 5 years old I was in care - I'm now 15 and I'm still there!
I saw my family breakup, I started arguments and fights and I
strted to lose touch with mymam andbrothers.
The day Igot picked up from school and taken into care i didn't
know where I was going and I WAS scared and really confused because
I had left my family and I could not understand why.
when i arrived at my foster placement i was scared and so I MISBEHAVED
because I didn't know who they were. I thought i would go home
if I was bad and so I tried hard to mess around. after a while
3-4 placements had broken down.
I went to counselling and it really helped me to understand why
I WAS put in care and for me to know it wsn't my fault.
I think it is diifcult to stay in aplacement for over a year butas
i get older i am enjoying life more and trying to build abetter
relashonship with my new carer.
hope you njoy reading this.
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I've bin in care a wile now and it's ok - I'v sort of gotten used to it. I still don't like having all these diffrent people in my life but it's ok most of the time.
I am sick of my social worker though, it's like i'm not really there - if she
ever comes out to see me. Mostly they say they will be there but then never arrive. I want a social worker who tells me if they can't come, will
listen to what I say and give some help if I have a problem.
I will also get on better with someone who can see my side rather than just telling me what's wrong with everything I say.
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I moved into lanark drive (Children's Home) like a couple of months agan, am oot now, n a thought it was wikid to be quite honest haha yessa
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